I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
