I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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