I'll bet she douches with gravy.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
