If that was your dad, he is hot
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
