I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
