the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
