also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
