chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
