2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
How's work?
Spinning.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
