Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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