we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
