so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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