im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
