Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
