i think i have two assholes
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
