dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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