he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
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dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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