no, he came in my armpit
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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