I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
