and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
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