Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
