I wanna passion pit in your ass
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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