i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
