Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
