Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
