whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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