i permit you to call me
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
