whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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