Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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