thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
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he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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