GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
