As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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