so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
