is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
