is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
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i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
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he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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