Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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