you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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