I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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