come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
