plz talk dirty to me
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
