Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
