jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
