I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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