i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
