Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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