if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
barbara walters just said penis...
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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