The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
