Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
