Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
