i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
