I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize