But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
