And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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