You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
only you would photoshop your dick
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
