return my video game
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize
