i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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