not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
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The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
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And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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