we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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