Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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