I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We are two peas in an std pod
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
