the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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