can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
