Well douche your snatch and let's go!
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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