i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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